August 20, 2020
Okay I apologize for those of you who I left hanging all day. I know my Instagram story was pretty cryptic and leaving some of you wondering what the heck is going on. Long story short — JESUS HAPPENED. Don’t worry I’ll explain just stick with me.
I have been going through a hurricane of emotions. I had this negative mindset about everything in my life. I felt like nothing was going right for me. I was making TERRIBLE decisions. I mean those kind of decisions that leave you looking in the mirror wondering who you are. I didn’t recognize myself and I was feeling so hopeless. I kept making attempts to be happier, but I kept slipping. Certain people or things would get inside my head and lead me back to these toxic decisions.
I’m sure you know where this story is going. I was heartbroken, I mean the kind of heart break where you can feel your heart actually ache in your chest. I would be fine one day and down the next. It felt like nothing I did could get me over this hump. So one day when my heart was in my stomach, I got an amazing opportunity to join one of my sorority sisters at Rock City to just praise Jesus.
I was so nervous, I had never really done anything like this. Here I am feeling super worthless and defeated, yet I felt God pull me to say yes. I disconnected from the world and fully emerged myself into praising the king. I felt my fears and worries lifted of my shoulders. Suddenly, in all this madness, I could breathe again.
Don’t get me wrong, after those two amazing hours I did eventually come back to reality. Unfortunately that reality was the same thing that had been weighing heavy on my heart. I realized that as long as I continued to look to the world for satisfaction I never would truly be fulfilled. So here is where I need you. I decided to stop being the classic lukewarm Christian. If I want to define myself in Christ then I need give my life to Him. I can’t continue to fall into temptation, and I need you to pray that I may have strength not to.
God is madly in love with me and He is madly in love with you. It’s time that I fully commit to His love once and for all. I know I’m going to slip up, but I hope that 1. I can get back up again, and 2. that my friends will call me out and help me refocus once again. I am giving my life to Jesus, and I need you to continue to pray for and encourage me on this journey. Also if you want to join me on this journey, please reach out and let’s do this together. All I can say is thank you and I love you. I am so excited to walk with Jesus and share it all with you — and it begins with ridding my life of toxic social media’s that have led me to temptations. Tomorrow I open my Bible and hopefully never look back.